Ever noticed how the one thing you need to do, you never done it thinking you’ll fail at it but everything else you’ve done failed miserably.
Our actions and every step taken in life has been ordained by the All Mighty. Our gifts/ talents are willed from God himself. When we do not do what is intended of us, he has a way of reiterating his command.
I can admit that I am the one sheep that the good shepherd always has to turn around for. I’m destined for greatness and my intentions are good but temptation gets the best of me cause I get side tracked. I truly want to do good for my community; it would bring me no great joy but to be a servant, I’m just having some trouble getting started.
All day my head floats in the clouds thinking about how I could make big impacts on the world and how I can jump start my ideas and get the support my ideas need. Before the past held me back. Then fear of future wouldn’t let me start and now I’m stuck trying not to let the present get the best of me. I need to read my bible, but I have no were to start.
Last year I was drowning in my situations. I was looking for an outlet hoping it could take my mind off of some of the others things I was going through. Who knew this would effect me too. I hate myself for getting too close. I hate myself even more for investing into this situation. Ultimately I’m embarrassed. I’m angry. I wish the paths never crossed. I probably wouldn’t feel this bad had my pastor not shined light on my issues but now that it’s out in the open I have no other choice but live day to day knowing I effed up all over again.
How do I build me back up? I’m so lost in life and I used to have all the answers for other ppl but now I have none for myself.
Time to unlock this muvasucka! like what does a girl have to do to get a salary until I go independent. I’m happy, and a tad bit excited. Ok I’m going back to work…
There is so many crafts I want to do and get involved in that it goes beyond me. Photography, illustration, print layout, cosmetic artistry and fashion design. Thank God all of this can be done in the fashion industry! I have to plan this stuff out and bring it all to life
Ventured into a unmarked territory of lust and deception
took a chance in ended up killing the hopes of a man.
Blood spotted panties while her flesh smelled of spit
Feeling like a cheap trick only to carry on in lust for bliss
Pint up aggressions casted out like
Demons in a exorcist…
Your actions slow down and it’s as if you can see everything in slow motion. Your taking it day by day, yet the process doesn’t progress. It went from warm days to cold days and its back warm again but by then them hot days are round the corner. The friends became enemies and the ones you thought you were close to pushed away. Searching for God everywhere yet he left you in the valley. Society excepts greatness yet your productions are mediocre. Entropy in your heart and can’t sleep at night because those thoughts wont let you rest. Clinging on the the last bit of success you are due but yet to gain. So at night you say a prayer and dream with a hope that tomorrow wont be the same…